This is one of those days

This is one of those days.

Those days where you wake up and want to skip everything, just lie in bed and not do anything.
Those days where you just feel a little disheartened, a little emotional about everything .
Those days where you put on a smile and pretend that everything's okay but really, you just want to talk to someone.

This is one of those days.

1 Jan 2016 - My Year in 3s

Unbelievable how quickly time flew ! Jan 2015 felt like it was not too long ago and now we are at the first day of the new year. I was supposed to finish this post yesterday but that obviously didn't happen because I was too busy rereading Goong. But yes. 

Every year I do something that's kind of like a reviewing my year in a nutshell kind of post so obviously, I want to do it this year as well. (afterall, it's all wonderful procrastination !)

But this year, I want to do it in a slightly different manner. Rather than to do a general overview of what a fantastic year it had been, I want to do it in ... 3s. 

Which is abit like the highlights of each subsection of my life and then end off with the 3s of 2016. 

For Love, The Sam Willows

13 Sept 2015 - Back at last

Since it was Summer and I had remained in the UK due to unforeseen circumstances, as my lease came to an end, I packed my bags and went on a Europe trip that left me poor but incredibly satisfied. 

This was how it went:

28th Aug - 31st Aug: I was at Sophie's place in Rugby (her mum kindly invited me !) and we went exploring around her area and she also brought me to Stratford-Upon-Avon (Shakespeare's hometown ! Wish we could have watched a play or something). Details would be up in another post. 

1st Sept - 2nd Sept: Cologne  (The place where the Eau De Cologne was created, and did you know that in modern times, Eau De Cologne meant that it contains 2 - 5% perfume oil but the original Cologne created by Giovanni Farina contains about 12% of perfume oils so it would actually be classed as Eau De Parfum which is about 10 - 20% of perfume oils !)

23 August 2015 - The Perseids

According to my sister, I don't tell her things anymore (not true, it is just that I am too tired to do anything most of the time.) 

So I guess I should get back to blogging on a regular basis (not that it has ever been regular). August is always an exciting month not just because it is Summer, but also because ... it's the month where you can see the Perseid Meteor Showers. 

One of the best things about living in the countryside and the fact that I'm now in the Northern Hemisphere where I can actually witness astrological phenomenons (like the Eclipse sometime this year or last year, need to check). Meteor showers are aplenty like the Gemini Constellation Meteors in Winter and the Perseid Meteors where you can see with your naked eyes. 

I saw about 13 meteors in an hour in an environment where it is dark enough but with some lights in the background so it's actually not too bad. 

There were a few good ones and one REALLY beautiful one. It was bright, huge and it streaked halfway across the sky so you couldn't miss it. It was really amazing to witness it. I was with the international students (Dani, Yi, Sankalp, Carlos and Alona) We were in the stables with the horse and it was funny. 

Everytime Carlos turns around, a meteor falls and everyone would see it except him XD ! 

I had the good fortune to see the most that night and everyone just crowded around me so they could get the best view XD ! It was great to be able to watch the meteor showers with a bunch of lovely people in a lovely environment where I am not freezing my ass off. 

Can't say the same for the Gemini meteors as it is in Winter ! But if possible, I really would want to watch the Gemini meteors too !  

22 August 2015 - A little trip that I will remember forever, for the wrong reasons

I just got back onto campus about 2 hours ago from my little escapade to Milan, Italy and I just cannot wait till the next day to blog about this little disaster that made me wish that I kept my £251 (that's the price of my air ticket, accommodation was another whooping £181) and spent all the time just playing Dragon's Prophet. 

I try to keep this blog negative feel but hey, let's face it, a girl needs to rant when things goes wrong and a little ranting is healthy. 

But of course, before we go to the ugly, let's talk about the lovelies. (Pictures to come, I'm too lazy to port it over to my laptop from my phone.)

15 August 2015 - On Long Distance Relationship

Ever since starting university in the UK, whenever I talk to friends from back home, or even relatives, the first thing they seem to be interested in is my love life, or rather, the lack of one. They always seem curious about the new guy that appeared in a photo with me on my facebook, or that guy who commented on my profile. 

Everytime I reassure my anxious parents and concerned friends, they would in turn worriedly reassure me/tell me, "you know it's okay to have a foreign/Caucasian boyfriend right? We don't mind as long as you are happy."

I just sigh and nod my head (which they can't see) and reply that I do know that they are not concerned about the ethnicity of my imaginary boyfriend just as long as I get one. 

And when they finally realize that I am not going to get myself one here in the UK, they start introducing/selling their male friends to me. 

A couple of weeks ago, my second sister sent me a photo of her dragonboat teammate and asked me what do I think of him and if I was interested. I gently reminded her that I am more than a few thousand miles away from home with a time difference of at least 7 hours. It's not going to work out. 

She then told her teammate that and told him that I would consider (which I did say I would). 

But the truth is, I am currently at a stage in life where I am content with being alone, experiencing life alone (no matter how lonely or sad that sound, that is actually true most of the time). Not only that, no matter what ethnicity my boyfriend is, or where he is from, it's all going to be LDR in some form. 

There is just too much to consider. 

Example, if I find myself a boyfriend here in the UK, if he is from UK or Europe, or US, or anywhere else, when I finish my education like I eventually would and move back home, what is going to happen to us. It's going to be LDR and let's be honest. I wouldn't survive a LDR. 

It's very difficult. I would give it a try and try as hard as I can, but I don't think I could survive it. Because to me, in a relationship, you don't just have to be effective communicators and be sharing to share about things. You have to compromise and be trusting of your partner. And things get harder and harder as you get closer and closer. 

You can't hug, can't kiss, can't touch. 

You eye the loving couples on the streets with envious eyes and wrap your arms around yourself and pretend that's your lover's arms. In that moment, you feel lonely, even though you have somebody. When things are hard and you wish to cry, your shoulder to lie on is many hours away and you have to just be strong for yourself. 

And with distance and loneliness, you find temptations all around you. People who could give you what you want. It's hard to resist, but if you could resist them all, that's really admirable. Some people throw in the towel when things get hard and they miss the warmth of their lover's embrace, they wish to stop feeling alone.

It's like not having a lover, when you clearly do have one. 

You can't be there in happiness, you can't be there in pain. You can't be there no matter what, because you're thousand of miles away. 

I salute those who survive the pain of LDR, admire those with the courage to uproot their entire life, leave their family behind to pursue a future with their love. Not all LDR ends in heartbreak, but not many survive the turmoils and trials it brings. 

A normal relationship is already so difficult to maintain, and when you add distance into the equation, it's a whole new level of challenge. 

I don't think I am cut out for LDR. I won't cheat on my partner no matter what, but loneliness. It gnaws at your heart, it wears your patience thin, it breaks your resolve. And when you can't stand the loneliness anymore, you could only let go with crying eyes and blame your own weakness for letting it go. 

They say that if your relationship survives the long distance, then it would last through the years. I believe that to be true. Because if you could get through it, there is nothing else that could step in your way.